NiteChylde

I swear, I can help everyone in the universe, but I can’t help myself. Has anyone else ever felt like that, or am I the only one on this? Come to me with an issue about your relationship: friends, boyfriend/girlfriends, fiancé, wife/husband... and I’m all over it. I can give advice left and right, that’s usually pretty dead on. I can analyze behavior and give my opinion on the situation based on what I see, and get an accurate point of view. So why the hell, when it comes to my own life, am I so inept? I mean really. It’s irritating. I would love to just walk up to the guy I have a genuine interest in and just outright tell him. How hard is it to say “Hey, I have a real interest in you, and I wanna pursue it.” It’s harder that you think. I think it’s because I feel that I’m romantically cursed. It hasn’t failed yet. I like a guy.. REALLY like a guy… I tell him I like him.. and BAM; enter Murphy’s Law. Something happens that just messes the whole thing up: they get a girlfriend 2 days later, they move away and lose my contact information.. they hook back up with their ex.. something, anything. You name it, and it keeps me from said liked guy. Even when everything seems to be in my favor, the second I tell a guy, it’s something. Or they turn out to be a little “off”, and I’m stuck in my own personal “Twilight Zone”, and emotionally miserable. The absolute best relationship I’ve had to date lasted 8 months I think. Then Murphy’s Law reared it’s gruesome head and suddenly, I can’t get ahold of him for almost 10 months. By the 9th month I decided “well.. maybe I don’t have a boyfriend anymore…” and the second I decided that.. PHONECALL. And it was him. So we hung out at his place and went to the movies, and he asked me “what would you like for us? What do you see happening between us?” I told him—because I was completely retardedly terrified of losing him completely—that I wanted us to always be friends no matter what, and to always be close. Week later, his sister tells me he’s got a girlfriend. Yeah. Big blow for me at the time. Another guy, I tell him I like him a lot and could possibly date him.. I don’t hear from him for 3 days, and then I hear he somehow found himself with a girlfriend. Greeeeaaat. Ok, so I guess I’m supposed to be that single chic with a house full of animals, that or just NOT tell a guy that I like him a lot and could see myself dating him.

C’est la vie.