NiteChylde

That’s right, I combined two things that should never be in the same title in any sense of the words. But you know what, It’s me and I can do that! ^_^ So ANYhoos, I’m writing 3 entries back to back, as I have slacked on you, my dear friends and stalkers who always wonder just what this little miscreant does to keep her so busy. Well I’ll tell you. Hope you’ve brought popcorn, there’s going to be a few entries here, separated into entries so it’s not toooo long. You know I hate having you guys read something obscenely long…when it can be chopped into chapters.

Sooo then! Let’s go all the way back to May and Bite Club. That was tons of fun. It was a Wax and Bloody Bitches night, with yours truly doing wax play with a rather hot little thing—Anna, I love you—and a very thick concoction of red koolaid.. mmmm koolaid. The show was amazing. Everyone loved it. But that’s not what is going to make this entry amusing. Earlier that day, I had to run around like a headless chicken in search of a penis for my show for the next Purgatory. That will be explained in more detail in the Purgatory entry. Suffice it to say that I needed an ethnic penis... because it had to match my reddish-brown skin tone. I go to South Carolina, to this large porn mega store and up to the counter where I immediately ask “Excuse me, where are your strap-ons?” nope, I waste no time. He pointed the direction, and then I followed it with the question of the day “..and where are your ethnic penises?” THAT got a raising of the brow from the guy. After confusedly pointing, I smiled and thanked him and skipped off. So I’m looking around for an ethnic penis (I swear I love saying that) and feel a bit dejected and irritated. All of the ethnic penises were either vibrators, or hella expensive and WAAAAY too big to be believable on me. I was on the phone with Jax, one of my best friends, and I’m sure I got a shitload of stares, while I said—quite loudly—“All I want in life is one ethnic penis that doesn’t vibrate, or isn’t ginormous.. is that so much to ask?” I think I had 4 black guys turn and half stare/half grin at me. No fuckers. Not you. The next comment for the day had to be when I was getting frustrated and exclaimed, to Jax “Goddammit. The One day I DON’T want a white dick…” Heh, yeah that got even more stares, which was funny as hell, and I was so flustered-high strung, I didn’t even notice I was being stared at. When I did notice, I just turned and waved at the guys. I’m sure it shocked them.. a LOT. Eventually, I decided to buy a clear one, and have my roommate paint it for me. Thanks Wifey! So in the end, I bought a pink “alien” penis, a strapon harness, and a clear penis for my roomie to paint for me. The things I do to put on a fetish show, I swear. I also bought my very 1st pair of stiletto boots.. those things are nice! I love em! I also wore them for my food fetish show in Myrtle Beach. That was another crowd pleaser, especially when my cute little pets Faye and Anna went giggling out from the back to see how many people would want to lick the whip cream and chocolate syrup off of them ^_^ I love those two, I swear.
Assclown time for a moment! On my way to Centerfolds, I was stopped by this total douche of a state trooper. I was behind him, and the fucker drops his speed, so I signal and change lanes. He gets behind me and then I see it.. lights. Are you kidding me? He pulls me and says “Do you know what the speed limit is through here?” Yeah, it’s 45. I had my car on cruise control… his response “Exactly, 45, which is how fast I was going when you passed me.” Was he SERIOUS?? And after walking around my car he points out my tag was expired and I told him that it was in the mail because I called them about it.. they hadn’t sent it. He was like “Well you should be on top of that” why the fuck do you think I called them jackass.. I mean really, do my tax dollars go to keeping fucktards like THIS on a payroll? He needs to be a special greeter at Walmart, I swear. It didn’t matter to me, because I have Prepaid legal.. so HA!! The case was dismissed. *grin*
So fast forward—and let me say something.. I heard this song called “Beautiful Girls”.. they play it all the time now.. I hate that song. With a passion. They took a perfectly good Ben E. King song.. and prison-raped it in the ass with no lube. Repeatedly. I just had to make that known.
Well, Jax and I get back in town and I have a photoshoot. That was awesome and there are pics on my deviant art. If you wanna see, just shoot me a message and I’ll send you the link ^_^. Anyhoos, I’m near the end of the shoot and all of a sudden, I have the most psychotic craving for Bacon I’ve ever had in my existence. I mean it was insane. I would have shot someone for some bacon. Jax and I go to IHOP after the shoot and all I can say is “bacon.” I know I must’ve looked out of my mind because when the lady asked me what I wanted, I told her I didn’t care, as long as I had 2 servings of bacon. The minute I got it, I told Jax that the building could blow up right at that moment, and I wouldn’t care because I finally had my bacon. I don’t know where the crazing came from, but it had to be satisfied.. and it was so it was all good ^_^

I think that sums up the 1st briefing! Life.. going pretty damned good if I do say so myself.