NiteChylde

Yes my friends, it’s that time again, the thing you’ve all wondered if I still remembered how to do or not: RANT! Two things happened recently that I feel I must share with the group, both equally asinine and both making me wonder if there’s some kind of sign on me that says “Hi, I’m incompetent and have NO idea what’s going on”. If there is in fact a sign, someone please tell me where it is so I can use it to beat the hell out of these assclowns.

Last night at Spencers I’m minding my own business. Everything was grand for me, it really was. Close to closing time and I’d be getting gas for my newly fixed car (YAY Orlando) and going to rehearsal. This guy comes in—medium height, ok build, black dood—and walks up to me all huffy. I ask him what’s wrong and he starts going on about how his belt buckle broke. He pulls it out of his pocket and shows it to me, and it is indeed broken. I ask him if he has his receipt, to which he responds “Of course not”…so I tell him that it clearly says on our receipts “30 days with receipt” if he’s wanting to return it. You won’t believe what the hell he then tells me.. He bought the buckle OVER A MONTH AGO! Ok, so we REALLY can’t do anything for him then. I tell him this, and then I hear start about how he’s a stripper, and his buckle broke while he was performing and it was embarrassing because his pants came off before they were supposed to in his routine. ..ok… What does this have to do with me or with him wanting to return it? Honestly. So I give him my famous nod that says “dood, I could give a shit.” And he asks me again what I can do. I tell him nicely that since the buckle was purchased over a month ago and he has no receipt, there is nothing that can be done. She he gets indignant and says he wants to talk to a manager and I better get on a phone or something to call someone. So I turn to him, and with my best “Fuck off Slappy” expression I inform him: “I AM the manager., and that still doesn’t change that you can’t return the buckle.” So he goes to get another buckle, then asks me if I can exchange them. Is he serious? Do I have to fuckin spell it out for him? Is stupidity that damn thick? I Tell him no, he can’t exchange them. And he has the balls to ask me why. WHY? Let’s see here: ya bought the fucking buckle OVER 30 days ago, and you have NO RECEIPT! So THEN I get to hear the story of how he comes in here all the time (like I give a shit) and how he buys buckles all the time from here (Again, Care-meter at zero), and his stage name is Bones so he buys all the skull and bone buckles (Again, I care why?).. and his girlfriend came in here and bought tonguerings (What the FUCK does that have to do with this dipshit’s belt buckle.. or better.. what does that to do with ME??) I told him that’s nice. But still the answer is the same. Did he expect me to say “Oh you’re RIIIGHT! Your girlfriend buys tonguerings from us and you have an underground card? It’s all so Cleaaar to me now! Here, have a new belt buckle!” Let’s play a game called ‘How about.. No.’ Then as if the idiocy couldn’t get any worse, he says he’ll buy the buckle he picked up, paying the difference from the broken one. Is he on Crack?? I mean DAMN.. fucker’s trying to get something for free, and trying hardcore. So he flips his buckle over and shows me where it’s broken.. Yeah, saw that the 1st time, thanks. And he asks me if I can replace just that part…ie: take the loop part out of another buckle and put it in that one. Yeah.. serious crack smoking. So I tell him no, and he’s getting all frustrated and shit, trying to argue with me.. telling me how he’s a welder during the day and he knows that’s not supposed to break. Ok, that’s nice. Go weld your damn belt and stop bothering me! He then asked to speak to someone else, so I told him when Debi was coming in, and told him I’d be working too. He got huffy one last time and left with his fucked up buckle. I mean really.. that whole display was fuckin sad.

Now, on to today:
I’m talking to Jax on the phone and I go to Subway. I already know what I want, I order it all the time. How about this bitch is going to seriously reprimand me for having my phone out? Ok, I understand that a majority of people that they deal with are idiots and can’t talk on a phone and order food at the same time. I can sympathize. But DAMN, do not group me in that same category of incompetent fucks. This chic.. who I can bet my lack-of-soul is younger than me.. gives me this attitude and tells me to turn my phone off while I order.. so I defiantly look her dead in the face and hold my phone up by my shoulder.. cock my head to the side and tell her exactly what I want without missing a beat.. and how about she couldn’t figure it out and had to keep asking me.. so I’d give her the same response.. and with the same attitude she gave me.. the other girls along the assembly line of subs kind of blinked.. because they’ve seen me in here before and they already KNOW the routine. This fake haired twat wanted to cop an attitude with me. I don’t think so. So when she was about to put the wrong cheese on my sub I snapped at her and corrected her.. because I’m sorry, but Provolone sounds nothing like American or Swiss. The 2nd girl looked at me and I rattled off what I wanted, which I could do in my sleep… and had to wait for her to catch up. So I repeat it like 3 times, and the girl at the very end already had the price and I whip out my card and hand it to her, then wait for my sub to be done. I’m sorry, but if you’re going to act like me talking on the phone makes the order take longer.. how about making sure the people making the damn subs are fast enough to keep up with me. How about that. Get out of my ass, and do what you’re supposed to do. There are more than enough circus monkeys in this world, no need to up the population.